It seems of late that many people of my acquaintance are having trouble sleeping. Both here in this tiny town, but also friends and family miles away. A restless tumult has grasped our psyche and is not letting go. Is it happening? Are my stories about to come true? Whispers and rumors, revolution and uprisings across the nation. Is it out there? Will it be here in my life time? I do not see the Apocalypse, end times, or any some such things; only history making, world changing events that will scar the face of our nation.
Is America as great as we are brought up to believe it is? We are still a very young nation; young and arrogent. Yes we are the world power, but wold powers come and go, as history has proven. Egypt, Rome, Engalnd, us. We will fall too, and pass the tortch to China. The world may not end, but our lives as we know it will. Freedom has a price and though I may not be able to fight in the flesh, I do know how to pray. I do understand spiritual warfare.
Like the apostle Paul, all that I aspire to know is Christ and Him crusified. I fight my battles in the spirit and believe that God is in control. Colin and I are a team bound together with Christ, a cord of three is not easily broken. Step by step we are guided, day by day we learn and grow, slowly we are prepared for anything the future has for us. A great purpose I have seen, but pride I cannot hold to, because if I am full of myself, than there is no room for Him. Without Him, there is no me or us and all except Him would be disolved. Without Him I have no voice. Without Him I have no power. Without Him I have no life. Without Him nothing is possible. Yet in Him that is all changed and He shall get the glory for it. I rest well in Him.
Molly MacGregor signing off.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
You can't take it with you...
My mind is cluttered, and I feel that I am stuck inside my head. With the up coming elections I no longer fear how Colin and I will pay our creditors or if and when we will be able to have children, but should a certain candidate be elected, how will we survive a modern civil war. I know that we would survive, by the grace of God, but what would we do? Where would we go? How much time would we have to figure out how to handle everything? What would we take with us?
Last night I lay awake trying to decide what was most important in our lives. For Colin and me, the first and most important thing is to trust God and to know that wherever we are, and whatever we are doing, that we are in the center of God's will for our lives. Should we have to flee our current position, it would only be after a time of prayer and preparation. What we would take with us would be determine by how much time we had to plan. Draining our checking account would be first. All that we would take with us would be whatever we could fit into our car. The girls would come too, of course. But then what? What would we take with us?
With a short time to plan: our Bibles, the girls, some clothing and personal care products, perhaps some books, and money for gas.
With a bit more time to plan: all of the above, photo albums, some kitchen items, and sore dry stores food products. For myself, anything I could fit into my red foot locker in the garage.
The whole prospect is improbable and yet scary, but I have seen it. Not as a vision, or even as a dream, but in my mind. There are rumors of such things. I do not believe that we are in the end times, as many of the Christian faith do, but I do believe that we are on the edge of a revolution. One that is a long time coming. For weeks now I have felt that "standing on the edge of a cliff" feeling. Though I have had this feeling before, it has either passed or amounted to nothing. There have been a few times though that this feeling has lasted for some duration, and it has had massive results. Whatever the case, it seems there will be a time when I will have to make a choice as to what is most important to me. What would I take and what would I leave behind?
Molly McGregor signing off.
Last night I lay awake trying to decide what was most important in our lives. For Colin and me, the first and most important thing is to trust God and to know that wherever we are, and whatever we are doing, that we are in the center of God's will for our lives. Should we have to flee our current position, it would only be after a time of prayer and preparation. What we would take with us would be determine by how much time we had to plan. Draining our checking account would be first. All that we would take with us would be whatever we could fit into our car. The girls would come too, of course. But then what? What would we take with us?
With a short time to plan: our Bibles, the girls, some clothing and personal care products, perhaps some books, and money for gas.
With a bit more time to plan: all of the above, photo albums, some kitchen items, and sore dry stores food products. For myself, anything I could fit into my red foot locker in the garage.
The whole prospect is improbable and yet scary, but I have seen it. Not as a vision, or even as a dream, but in my mind. There are rumors of such things. I do not believe that we are in the end times, as many of the Christian faith do, but I do believe that we are on the edge of a revolution. One that is a long time coming. For weeks now I have felt that "standing on the edge of a cliff" feeling. Though I have had this feeling before, it has either passed or amounted to nothing. There have been a few times though that this feeling has lasted for some duration, and it has had massive results. Whatever the case, it seems there will be a time when I will have to make a choice as to what is most important to me. What would I take and what would I leave behind?
Molly McGregor signing off.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
The gift of three
There are eleven colonies, each with their own constitution and representatives. There are three heads of government, one military, one political, and one layman. Each department head is subject to the people and the colony representatives. Government is kept small and the people rule, but are held accountable for their own actions. Intricate chains are held to maintain accountability, responsibility, and integrity. From the heads of government to the man harvesting corn in section 22 of Iowa, honor and integrity are made to rule.
Officials are only allowed two terms on office at any level, after that they may agree to mentor new blood.
There are harsher punishments for repeat offenders. Appeals are limited to three and capital punishment is lawful in all colonies. Different categories of deviation are handled in different ways. They are separated into groups by age and gender, type of activity, and their ability or likelihood to commit the act again. Embezzlers are not placed in the same category as rapists and murderers. Property destruction is set apart from kidnapping.
Once a suspect has been judged a criminal, they lose most or all of their government rights. They still have the right to counsel and three appeals, but once in the system they have to earn everything except food, clothing, a bed, and certain medical attentions. There is no internet, library, smoking, or other such privileges. Classical education, language, and etiquette classes are offered, but nothing that would be considered a college education. The classes have to be earned with work and good behavior. Team work and character builders are also offered for those of nonphysical crimes. Just as education is individualized as much as possible, so also is punishment for criminal activity, based on the crimes severity, damage, and the criminals psychological profile.
Officials are only allowed two terms on office at any level, after that they may agree to mentor new blood.
There are harsher punishments for repeat offenders. Appeals are limited to three and capital punishment is lawful in all colonies. Different categories of deviation are handled in different ways. They are separated into groups by age and gender, type of activity, and their ability or likelihood to commit the act again. Embezzlers are not placed in the same category as rapists and murderers. Property destruction is set apart from kidnapping.
Once a suspect has been judged a criminal, they lose most or all of their government rights. They still have the right to counsel and three appeals, but once in the system they have to earn everything except food, clothing, a bed, and certain medical attentions. There is no internet, library, smoking, or other such privileges. Classical education, language, and etiquette classes are offered, but nothing that would be considered a college education. The classes have to be earned with work and good behavior. Team work and character builders are also offered for those of nonphysical crimes. Just as education is individualized as much as possible, so also is punishment for criminal activity, based on the crimes severity, damage, and the criminals psychological profile.
American Republic of Independet Colonies Government
The new government is being formed, information gathered, and votes cast. The Eastern and Western United states are in financial ruin since the destructive crash of the economy. ARIC has been effected in many large ways by this down fall, but the new government has declared a year of jubilee. All debts have been called off as the financial system is starting from scratch. We are the breadbasket and we have a great percentage of the continents food under our per view. Petrolium products among many other things have been cut off from us.
While we have electricity and internet access, we have no gas for vehicles and manufacturing or industrial plants. The harvesting and proccessing of food must be done by hand. Fabrics must be made or imported from allied countries. Major corporationations, banks, and credit companies are gone due to the collapse of the economy and the year of jubliee.
We have turned to the Quakers, Menenite, and Amish to teach us how to rebuild without certain technologies and materials. Medical attention suffers as many have turned to alternative and natural methods of health care. Insurance companies have collectively decided to start covering wholistic methods as well as modern medical technologies. Few lives have been lost because of the war but many have died for lack of medical attention that wholistic cures could not resolve. That being said, the occurinces of disease, cancers, and many othe seemingly common alements and health issus have gone down dramatically over tha last two years. Our food, household products, and daily life materials are pure and organic, untouched by chemicals, detergents, and pesticides.
China is the new world power and one of our few allies. They have taught us about their ancient medical practices. We have learned and adopted some of their culture, but kept our inharently Christian beliefs. The new government has learned to work with China, dispite our differences, the relationship we have with them is open.
Mexico and Canada are also allies. We have invited many of our Middle American people to earn passage into ARIC. Those who are already here must fill out a simple form, pay a reasonable yearly fee, like a tax, and agree to work on a farm to help with food production. Each person or family is assigned to a farm and is accountable to their property owner. Without fuel for mechinery to plant, harvest, and process food this is a great help to large property owners. Spanish, English, and Mandrine are taught in schools throughout the nation. All imagrants must take English classes and progress in them in order to keep their place on their farm.
Government budget plans are monotered by the people. We decide how our taxes are spent based on what we buy and our chosen lifestyles. Public schools are not the same in the U.S. I guess you could say that everything is a charter school. Budgets have to be held to and curriculum must be successful or the school is closed. Programs that are not in use or do not work are cut and the money is reallocated or refunded accordingly. Lobbying is illegal and anyone caught doing such a thing or receiving benefits thereof are either put in jail or deported to the United States.
While we have electricity and internet access, we have no gas for vehicles and manufacturing or industrial plants. The harvesting and proccessing of food must be done by hand. Fabrics must be made or imported from allied countries. Major corporationations, banks, and credit companies are gone due to the collapse of the economy and the year of jubliee.
We have turned to the Quakers, Menenite, and Amish to teach us how to rebuild without certain technologies and materials. Medical attention suffers as many have turned to alternative and natural methods of health care. Insurance companies have collectively decided to start covering wholistic methods as well as modern medical technologies. Few lives have been lost because of the war but many have died for lack of medical attention that wholistic cures could not resolve. That being said, the occurinces of disease, cancers, and many othe seemingly common alements and health issus have gone down dramatically over tha last two years. Our food, household products, and daily life materials are pure and organic, untouched by chemicals, detergents, and pesticides.
China is the new world power and one of our few allies. They have taught us about their ancient medical practices. We have learned and adopted some of their culture, but kept our inharently Christian beliefs. The new government has learned to work with China, dispite our differences, the relationship we have with them is open.
Mexico and Canada are also allies. We have invited many of our Middle American people to earn passage into ARIC. Those who are already here must fill out a simple form, pay a reasonable yearly fee, like a tax, and agree to work on a farm to help with food production. Each person or family is assigned to a farm and is accountable to their property owner. Without fuel for mechinery to plant, harvest, and process food this is a great help to large property owners. Spanish, English, and Mandrine are taught in schools throughout the nation. All imagrants must take English classes and progress in them in order to keep their place on their farm.
Government budget plans are monotered by the people. We decide how our taxes are spent based on what we buy and our chosen lifestyles. Public schools are not the same in the U.S. I guess you could say that everything is a charter school. Budgets have to be held to and curriculum must be successful or the school is closed. Programs that are not in use or do not work are cut and the money is reallocated or refunded accordingly. Lobbying is illegal and anyone caught doing such a thing or receiving benefits thereof are either put in jail or deported to the United States.
Classical Education in the New World
For many years I have been working on creating a curriculum for home schooling my children. I never thought I would be implementing it on a larger scale such as this. As the head of education here in Lake Geneva I am in charge of only twenty four children, but everything I have is so different from what is in public schools that switching gears can be difficult. I have combine the classical education (grammar, logic, and rhetoric) with etiquette, Latin, Greek ans ASL, Bible study, character builders, and domestic living skills. Together with a couple other teachers we have created a test for to figure out where each child stands in each area, how they learn and how to continue from where they are. Personality and intelligence tests are done and each child is worked with by the community. Everyone here is a teacher, not just the adults. There is a lot of tutoring, mentoring, and individual attention. Children are not separated into age groups, they are placed in classes based on how developed they are in a given are and how they learn.
My Jordan is only four but is placed in a group with three other deaf children, two hearing children, one deaf and one hearing adult who are all visual/spacial and logical/mathematical developed. She is also for part of each day placed in a group with differing learning styles to learn problem solving and team work. All of the children are learning the same materials, but we have figured out how to play to each child's strongest abilities and build on their weaknesses. Parental involvement is key and thus far has not been a problem.
The old has passed away and a new era of American history is being created. While times are tough, the new nation of the American Republic of Independent Colonies is slowly coming into its own. Few lives have been lost, more because of the antiwar liberals on the opposing side. Our eleven states will soon be set free from United rule because their people are so against the loss of innocent lives, especially those of now former Americans. This civil war has torn a scar down the middle of the United States of America, but they are giving in so easily to the rebellion because there are so many divided families. We play to their belief system to gain freedom from their control.
My Jordan is only four but is placed in a group with three other deaf children, two hearing children, one deaf and one hearing adult who are all visual/spacial and logical/mathematical developed. She is also for part of each day placed in a group with differing learning styles to learn problem solving and team work. All of the children are learning the same materials, but we have figured out how to play to each child's strongest abilities and build on their weaknesses. Parental involvement is key and thus far has not been a problem.
The old has passed away and a new era of American history is being created. While times are tough, the new nation of the American Republic of Independent Colonies is slowly coming into its own. Few lives have been lost, more because of the antiwar liberals on the opposing side. Our eleven states will soon be set free from United rule because their people are so against the loss of innocent lives, especially those of now former Americans. This civil war has torn a scar down the middle of the United States of America, but they are giving in so easily to the rebellion because there are so many divided families. We play to their belief system to gain freedom from their control.
A New World
The Middle class has risen up against the government. We fight for separation from the United States to correct the massive issues that have been created to oppress us. Our eleven states run right down the middle of the nation, the breadbasket states have collectively rebelled and set up places of sanctuary for refuges. More than a quarter of the American military has joined our cause and fights for the freedom of our people.
It has been three weeks since we hacked into many government, bank, and major corporation computers. They won't realize the damage we have caused for another six days when they self destruct and the economy crashes. Although the leaders of the revolution are just trying to delay the inevitable loss of lives, we do not want to hurt any one. The United States government has brought this on themselves and it is time to exercise our rights as the people to stand up against what is destroying our great nation.
My name is Molly MacGregor, I am not a leader in this fight, only a teacher in one of the newly formed campuses throughout the rebelling states. I do not know much of what our leaders have planned for the future. I only know what I have heard from a chain of people who helped me and my husband, Colin, to seek shelter from the coming storms. We knew received word from our friends Nicholas and Isabell Trafelgar that southeast Wisconsin may not be as safe as Minnesota. A list of camps was given to us as options for escape. We chose one that we familiar to me from childhood, Lake Geneva, where I had attended summer camp from third grade through high school graduation.
There are only about two hundred of us here now but we have room for at least a thousand more. Parts of the camp do not have proper heating for the winter and the RV park will run into trouble when the cold comes also. When we arrived here some months ago with our three young daughters the place was virtually abandon, but stocked like Forte Knox. The leaders of the rebellion are organized and have appointed overseers for each camp. Scott and Libby Adler are such leaders here at Lake Geneva. Not long after Colin and I arrived I was appointed the principal of the education department. Along with my own children there are more than tree dozen children under the age of eighteen here. Only twenty four of them are of school age.
My own children Jordan, 4, Luciana, 2, and Grace, 8 months, are going to grow up in a very different world than I ever pictured for my family.
Jordan is really my half-sister, Colin and I adopted her when she was two years old after my father died of teberchulosis and my young stepmother died of a congenital heart defect. Jordan is deaf because of constant and server ear infections when she was a baby in the Philipines, without medical attention. Luciana is our Chinese adopted daughter whom we brought home just a couple weeks before Genevieve, my stepmother, brought us Jordan. We had no choice but to adopt my baby sister, anything else would be unthinkable. Less than a month after Jordan was brought to us, I was found to be pregnant and eight months ago I had little Grace. Ours was an altogether unplanned and instant family. Luciana was planned to be our first and perhaps only child, but God has blessed us through tragedy and brought new life. Colin and I dreamed about having a family for fourteen years, now they are here and we are thrilled to see what else God has planned for us in this new world.
It has been three weeks since we hacked into many government, bank, and major corporation computers. They won't realize the damage we have caused for another six days when they self destruct and the economy crashes. Although the leaders of the revolution are just trying to delay the inevitable loss of lives, we do not want to hurt any one. The United States government has brought this on themselves and it is time to exercise our rights as the people to stand up against what is destroying our great nation.
My name is Molly MacGregor, I am not a leader in this fight, only a teacher in one of the newly formed campuses throughout the rebelling states. I do not know much of what our leaders have planned for the future. I only know what I have heard from a chain of people who helped me and my husband, Colin, to seek shelter from the coming storms. We knew received word from our friends Nicholas and Isabell Trafelgar that southeast Wisconsin may not be as safe as Minnesota. A list of camps was given to us as options for escape. We chose one that we familiar to me from childhood, Lake Geneva, where I had attended summer camp from third grade through high school graduation.
There are only about two hundred of us here now but we have room for at least a thousand more. Parts of the camp do not have proper heating for the winter and the RV park will run into trouble when the cold comes also. When we arrived here some months ago with our three young daughters the place was virtually abandon, but stocked like Forte Knox. The leaders of the rebellion are organized and have appointed overseers for each camp. Scott and Libby Adler are such leaders here at Lake Geneva. Not long after Colin and I arrived I was appointed the principal of the education department. Along with my own children there are more than tree dozen children under the age of eighteen here. Only twenty four of them are of school age.
My own children Jordan, 4, Luciana, 2, and Grace, 8 months, are going to grow up in a very different world than I ever pictured for my family.
Jordan is really my half-sister, Colin and I adopted her when she was two years old after my father died of teberchulosis and my young stepmother died of a congenital heart defect. Jordan is deaf because of constant and server ear infections when she was a baby in the Philipines, without medical attention. Luciana is our Chinese adopted daughter whom we brought home just a couple weeks before Genevieve, my stepmother, brought us Jordan. We had no choice but to adopt my baby sister, anything else would be unthinkable. Less than a month after Jordan was brought to us, I was found to be pregnant and eight months ago I had little Grace. Ours was an altogether unplanned and instant family. Luciana was planned to be our first and perhaps only child, but God has blessed us through tragedy and brought new life. Colin and I dreamed about having a family for fourteen years, now they are here and we are thrilled to see what else God has planned for us in this new world.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Episode Twenty: MacGregor Chronicles
Night time was the best time. Jane could watch my family sleep when she could not. They were all so peaceful and she knew that they were well and safe. Will snored softly while Jane sat and looked at him. She knew all of his imperfections and loved each one. His six foot two inch, two hundred fifty pound frame was her comfort. She always felt small and safe in his arms. For a woman Jane had always had fairly large hands, although not disproportionate to the rest of her body, yet somewhat delicate in their own way. Even so her hands were dwarfed by his thick meaty paws, her hands were enveloped by his when ever he held her hand. It was the same with the rest of her, Jane was tall, 5 feet 8 inches, but loved standing with bare feet in front of her husband so that she could look up at him when they kissed, or bury her face in his chest when they hugged. They had complete trust and pure love holding them.
When she could not sleep, Jane would go into her children's bedrooms to check on them. Grace's dark curly hair was ever arrayed about her pillow, as though she was waiting for her picture to be taken. She was just like her daddy, dark and beautiful, charming and sweet. Her sister, Lucy was more like Jane, only with her fathers eyes. Lucy liked to keep her hair short because she didn't like having to get it done every morning, she had places to go, things to see. Lucy's short straight blond hair was reminiscent of her mother when she was young, as was her personality. Lucy was a butterfly, dreamy and impulsive. Not much scared little Lucy, but Jane understood her perfectly.
As for the boys, they were everything that anyone could ever expect from a boy. Clayton and Gaius looked and acted as differently as Grace and Lucy. Grace and Clayton seemed as if they could be identical twins rather than fraternal, as was the case with Lucy and Gaius. The older two looked and seemed to take after their father, where their counter parts, almost four years younger were much like Jane. The eight year olds were dark and charming and the four year olds were more other worldly and always busy with some adventure. All of them were the best of friends, rarely was any one left out. They were either a team of four, or two teams of two. They mixed and matched as they saw fit. Grace and Clayton loved helping take care of their younger twin siblings, and Lucy and Gaius looked up to their older twin siblings.
Fighting was allowed, but only verbal fights. Jane had learned a lot about problem solving when she fought with her brother and sister as a child. The only difference was that Jane was able to be there to monitor her children's fights and discussions. Yelling and screaming was allowed to a small extent, but after a few minuted, Jane or Will would step in to tell them to "fight nice." This meant lower your voice, listen to what the other person is saying, wait your turn, and come to a compromise. If they couldn't figure it out on their own, they knew that they could ask for help from mom or dad. If the intent in asking for help was to get the other person in to trouble, both or all parties would be in trouble.
At night the fighting would stop, but then so did the laughing and the giggles. Adventures were placed on pause, stories were set aside, and all was quiet. She could hear them all breathing, slow and steady. Every so often someone would say something inaudible then be silent again. Her sound sleepers rarely responded to her kisses on their foreheads and the whisper of, "I love you." Then Jane would go back to her bed, kiss Will's forehead, and whisper "I love you," to him too. She knew that even if he did respond somehow that he wouldn't remember it anyway. No matter how much Jane loved her babies, her husband was her favorite and that would never change.
When she could not sleep, Jane would go into her children's bedrooms to check on them. Grace's dark curly hair was ever arrayed about her pillow, as though she was waiting for her picture to be taken. She was just like her daddy, dark and beautiful, charming and sweet. Her sister, Lucy was more like Jane, only with her fathers eyes. Lucy liked to keep her hair short because she didn't like having to get it done every morning, she had places to go, things to see. Lucy's short straight blond hair was reminiscent of her mother when she was young, as was her personality. Lucy was a butterfly, dreamy and impulsive. Not much scared little Lucy, but Jane understood her perfectly.
As for the boys, they were everything that anyone could ever expect from a boy. Clayton and Gaius looked and acted as differently as Grace and Lucy. Grace and Clayton seemed as if they could be identical twins rather than fraternal, as was the case with Lucy and Gaius. The older two looked and seemed to take after their father, where their counter parts, almost four years younger were much like Jane. The eight year olds were dark and charming and the four year olds were more other worldly and always busy with some adventure. All of them were the best of friends, rarely was any one left out. They were either a team of four, or two teams of two. They mixed and matched as they saw fit. Grace and Clayton loved helping take care of their younger twin siblings, and Lucy and Gaius looked up to their older twin siblings.
Fighting was allowed, but only verbal fights. Jane had learned a lot about problem solving when she fought with her brother and sister as a child. The only difference was that Jane was able to be there to monitor her children's fights and discussions. Yelling and screaming was allowed to a small extent, but after a few minuted, Jane or Will would step in to tell them to "fight nice." This meant lower your voice, listen to what the other person is saying, wait your turn, and come to a compromise. If they couldn't figure it out on their own, they knew that they could ask for help from mom or dad. If the intent in asking for help was to get the other person in to trouble, both or all parties would be in trouble.
At night the fighting would stop, but then so did the laughing and the giggles. Adventures were placed on pause, stories were set aside, and all was quiet. She could hear them all breathing, slow and steady. Every so often someone would say something inaudible then be silent again. Her sound sleepers rarely responded to her kisses on their foreheads and the whisper of, "I love you." Then Jane would go back to her bed, kiss Will's forehead, and whisper "I love you," to him too. She knew that even if he did respond somehow that he wouldn't remember it anyway. No matter how much Jane loved her babies, her husband was her favorite and that would never change.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Episode Thirteen: MacGregor Chronicles
When the first entered the house my fathers wife tried to explain everything right away, but she would forget herself and begin to speak her native language and nothing was comprehensible to Willard or me. I asked that the two of them be dry, warm, and calm before anything further was said. Now that this was accomplished we all sat down in the fire side room with some tea and talked.
“Where is my father?” I asked starting out.
“He is dead. He died of tuberculosis three nights ago. He knew that it would take him this time, that is why we wanted to see you.”
I was in shock already. The man whom I had had so much trouble forgiving for his psychological abuse throughout childhood was gone and I didn't know what to think or how to feel.
“We wanted to ask you to take Charlotte. I am dying also. I had viral-cardio-miopathy. The doctors gave me six months, but I already almost died giving birth to my little girl.”
“Why us? Why did dad want me to have her?”
“He loves you. He knows that you will teach her about God and that you will love her. He always said that you would be a good mother. Her middle name is Jane, after you.”
“I'm not saying that I don't want her, but where is your family? Don't they want her?” I inquired still not grasping the whole situation.
“ My family is gone, all of them dead. Your father and I, we left Manila just days before my village was burned to the ground by a local militia. We could not fly because of the baby, we had to take a boat to get here.”
“You sailed here, from the Phillipines, dad had TB, you where pregnant and have heart a fatal heart condition.”
“Yes.”
“You do understand that no insurance in the world will cover your hospital bills because what you have is genetic and chronic right.”
“We came here to go to the Mayo clinic, to ask for their help. One of your fathers friends offered to pay the bills in full. I understand that I may not live long enough to have a transplant, but I do want to know that your sister is safe and well.” Janessa explained.
I looked at my baby sister, then at my husband, then at my stepmother. We had no choice, with my father gone and his wife dying, this child had no one to care for her. Even for as angry as I had been with my father, it was not the fault of this sleeping child before me. She was so small and looked a bit ill herself.
“We will take care of her.” Willard answered suddenly. He was not the kind to make snap decisions like this, but he saw the need and the urgency. A smile came across Janessa's pale face. She was only a few years older than myself and looked even younger. I had always wanted to be close to her, but I didn't want anything to do with my father. Now I would be rearing their child, as my own. I hugged her as tears began to stream down both our faces.
Episdoe Six: MacGregor Chronicles
The breakfast nook was made up of an “L” shaped bench around two portions of the table, and three chairs placed at the other open spots. Seating for six comfortably, seven if necessary. The fire side area consisted of a medium sized over stuffed sofa, in a dark khaki, of which the back was turned to the kitchen. An occasional table behind that, a black chair on either side, facing one another, and a smallish glass toped coffee table in the middle. The entire area had hard wood floors, except for a great area rug was under the fire side furniture. The mantel piece held a variety of pictures of Willard and myself, as well as some of our other friends and family, all of whom attended the “Welcome Home,” party. There was a large portrait of Will and me above the smaller pictures, it seemed recent and we looked attractive and happy.
“Weird isn't it?” Will said suddenly.”I remember us planning all of this, buying all of these things, and now it has all come together and it feels so surreal. Like a dream.” I looked at him wide eyed, he knew. It was all an illusion, this was his dream too. Yet then I figured, if this is all a dream, and we're in it together, then why not just go with it until I wake up? It seemed harmless enough. There were things that I would have to figure out and catch up on, but that wouldn't be hard, all I had to do was be myself, do whatever felt natural.
“Yeah, a dream. Even when you can touch things you still expect to wake up at any moment.” I cried.
“I have been going through the house checking things out to see how it all came together, and it is great. The house, the furniture, the decorations, everything is so us. And it's ours, all of it. Feels good doesn't it?”
“Yes, it does. I'm glad to hear you say all of that, I was afraid you might think that I have gone crazy if you caught me snooping around the house, looking at things and such.” I was so relieved.
“No, I've been doing the same thing. Probably more with the electronics and such then perhaps the china, but all the same, it's new and different to me too.” My heart leaped in my chest at the sound of the word china. We had china? Where?
“Well, I have to go get started on this new project for a client. This one will take at least nine or ten months, but it's my first audio book project.” he said. Apparently I looked confused, because then he said, “the latest Barry Eisler book? Remember?” I faked a smile and nodded blankly,
“Yeah, sure.”
“You really do need a break. Take it easy hon. I love you.” he said as he kissed my forehead again, then made his way up the stairs to his studio.
“I love you too.” I answered. From there I made and eat a couple of poached eggs, toast. To this I also added a banana, pineapple juice, and a vanilla yogurt. I found all that I needed easily, like I had set it all up myself. I cleaned up after myself, then proceeded to search my house. The kitchen alone was wonderful, the dishes, the glass ware, the silverware, and the cook ware. I had a huge pantry full of food, the refrigerator was full too. There was a vase of fresh flowers on the dinning room table, I smelled them. When I turned around I saw the china hutch, and the china in it. White bone china bordered in a cream with platinum designs in that. Service dishes, seven piece place settings, including tea cup and saucer, for twelve. There were chargers, place mats, table cloths, runners, cloth napkins, napkin rings, linens for all occasions. I was stunned, these were my things. All I could do was thank God. It might only be a dream, but all good things come from God, and this was a good dream.
Episode Three: Mac Gregor Chronicles
There were a few instances when I was confused still more by the children. I wondered where my children were. I had always wanted children, but none of the fifteen or so children present at the party seemed to belong to me. Yet with all of the other thing going on, I found it difficult to focus on one thing to be baffled by. The entire scene was overpowering for me. Though no matter how confused I was I always had the game face on. I interacted and socialized well with everyone. Every person represented in that big, gray house, with the red front door, seemed to love, admire, and appreciate Will and I that night.
As the night wore on the guests too grew tired and made their way to the the door to leave. I bid them all good night and safe travel. The last of the guests to leave was Willard's father and mother, John and Roxanne. This was the longest fare well of all, they didn't seem to want to leave, but eventually the door closed and Will and I were alone at last. I fell into his arms with exhaustion.
“I love you.” I exclaimed.
“I love you too, are you alright?” was his response.
“Yes, I'm just tired and need to get some sleep.” I answered. I was tired, but more than anything I was trying to sort out the nights events. Dozens of people, caterers, my richly decorated dream house, crazy amounts of knowledge, newer looking vehicles in the drive that apparently belong to us, all of this with no children of our own. What in the world was going on? I was disoriented and filled with bewilderment. I climbed the stair to the second floor to find a bed. When I took a left rather than a right at the top of the stair, Willard inquired,
“I thought you were going to bed, not your study?”
“I am.”
“The bedroom is that way dear.” he said pointing to the right.”Are you sure you're alright?”
“Yes, just an ADD moment and tiredness.” I assured him.
“I will be up in a few minutes, I have to feed Azrael.” An old black and white cat sat at his feet meowing and looking toward a room off to the right on the main floor.
“I love you.” I said again, this time yawning.
“I love you too.” he smiled.Episode Two: MacGregor Chronicles
My head spun and I had to sit down. There were times when I would say something in other languages, I was suddenly very multilingual. I found myself suddenly fluent in Latin, Greek and Hebrew. This enabled me to have intelligible conversations with a variety of people. I could understand what a man speaking Italian was saying in his own language. Another man spoke Spanish to me, and I understood near perfectly. I seemed to know a lot about anthropology, literature, and chemistry. There were framed poems on the walls in beautiful calligraphy the I had done. At one point in the evening I sat down at a black mini grand piano in the family room and played a few songs, and I sang with people, or played while they sang. I just could not grasp where was all of this coming from?
Many of the guests were my own age, or within ten years thereof. Some I knew, my sister, Kassandra, my brother, Thomas, my mother Bella, and my step-father, John. Now he was old, nearly seventy-five and was apparently mostly blind, but kept expressing how proud he was of me and my beloved husband. He treated my like I was daddy's little girl as he had done since he and my mother had married when I was twelve. My biological father was absent from the party, a long estrangement had seemingly kept him from making the guest list. This knowledge did not bother me at all, it actually made me rather relieved, if not happy. Among the other well wisher were many people whom I felt a deep sense of love for, like we were war buddies or very close comrades at one time or other, and maybe still were to some extent. These were our most intimate friends and beloved family members.
Episode Seventeen: MacGregor Chrinicles
Sunday evening, around six we drove up to our house, much like we had done so many months ago when we were very first arriving at our new home. Now it would really be home, children and all. Not so many cars were parked in the lot this time, but that would have been overwhelming. Will grabbed a car seat in either hand, I took brought the diaper bag. Roxanne opened the door for us and the house smelled of chicken, squash, and green beans. I melted, hospital food is not that great, but home cooked food is divine. Apparently my mother and Will's mother had been cooking and cleaning for a while. Callie was there and already had herself set up in the guest suit, across from the nursery. Also present were our friends Carissa and Wyatt, Molly and Derek, and Will's cousin, Elton, and his wife, Rebekkah.
The car seats were promptly deposited onto the coffee table in the fireside area of the kitchen, greetings and congratulations were issued, and the eating and ogling began. I was very glad to be home among my own things, at least this time arriving home really felt like home, not a strange dream. When I finished eating, I took each of the girls, one at a time, to feed them too. For this I took them to their bedroom, for privacy. Thankfully both of them liked to eat as much as their father and I do, so breast feeding was a snap after the first twelve hours. I did pump too, so Will could take his turn feeding them, something he didn't want to miss out on. The whole cloth diaper scene was another story, Will wanted nothing to do with cloth diapers. So for now, they were in disposables, for the first couple of nights.
Episode Sixteen: MacGregor Chronicles
We arrived at the right hospital with a state trouper escort, in record time. Not doctor recommended, though I was in the back seat. Will pulled me out of his car, I waddled to the door, denying many persistent offers of a wheel chair by my darling husband, and waddled to the admitting desk to sign my name to a previously filled out form. I wanted to talk, let gravity do some of the work for me. I didn't plan on laying on my back for this any way, we had discussed this. To this point I was the logical one and Will was neurotic. I can say though that once the contractions kicked in, I was the neurotic on, and Will calmed down quickly. I was in pain and I became goofy, every last one of my ADHD symptoms hit me full force and I was wild. I was cracking jokes left and right to get myself through the pain. I refused drugs, I had made that choice long ago and was sticking to it. I did feel sorry for some of the staff though, they had a tough time doing their jobs through the laughter. I must have seemed positively maniacal at times.
Only eight hours after my water broke we had two perfect pink princesses to ogle at through the glass. One was stark bald, the other with a full head of black hair. Both with their daddy's big blue eyes, and my slightly turned up nose. I took a nap when they were brought to the nursery. Will waited until eight o'clock that morning to call anyone with the news. His mom was practically on her way by the end of the phone call. For most everyone else he sent out a general text message letting our friends know that the girls were here. I called my mom and John, they agreed to stop by to see the babies later that afternoon. Johns concern was to let me rest, and he was ecstatic to be a granddaddy again.
I had made it quite clear that I did not want to be seen until we were all home, but was happy to let anyone who wanted to come see our new arrivals at their leisure in the hospital nursery. The girls were kept in the nursery unless they were hungry, at which time they were brought to me to breast feed. I got all of the sleep that I could those first thirty six hour. I only saw my beloved husband and my doctors during that time, but Will told me of the other visitors, for our babies. Many friends and family members came to look at the proof that God does indeed have a sense of humor. The girls were tiny and cute, but their visitors laughed at the fact that Will and I finally had children. This they found wildly amazing.
Our daughters, Grace Abigail and Luciana Elizabeth were born Saturday, May 18, 2013, at five thirty in the morning. They were born 95 years to the day after my maternal grandfather, Howard, and his twin brother, Harold. Gracie an Lucy were not identical as were their great grandfather and his twin, but it did seem like providence. I found that holding one of these little products of Will and my love was both terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. I was so thankful for them and I loved my darling husband all the more. I thanked him so many times for them that he asked me to stop. I thanked God more than I thanked Will too. Oh, the things that we had endured to get to this place. Now they were ours, our own.
Monday, August 27, 2007
From Jaime to Jane
I was 14 when I was diagnosed as ADHD, at which time I was put on medication. While I was on my meds I was quiet, subdues, even meek. Off my medication, I was wild, more hyper than before I began taking Ritalin. I was all over the place and felt uncontrolable, though I still held myself to my own set of morals and values. At eighteen, a friend in college talked me into dropping the medication and work on things consciously. I did and I have. There are still behavoirs that have not been overcome but they are no worse than any other person.
A couple of years ago I discovered a way to treat the ADHD with diet and a suppliment regiman. I took on the diet and both my husband and I have noticed a great change. Even my manager at work can tell if I have eaten something I should not have. Different foods bring out different symthems. With ADHD its like having an allergie to certain foods, except rather than a rash or watery eyes, my brain freaks out an causes certain behaviors.
I still have not started the suppliment regiman, we cannot afford it yet, but I would like to try it eventually. I hope that my discovories for myself now will help Mitch and I to handle any children we may have who could be ADD/ADHD.
I still have to master certain things and watch my diet, which by the way has also helped me to lose some weight, but on the whole I ame so much better than I was.
I still talk a lot when I am nervious or anxious and there are times when I have to make a consious effort to relax. I have learned to be me, though I spent most of my life pretending to be someone else or wanting to be a movie or book character. I did not need a self help book to make me who I am, I just needed to find out who I was to begin with. Now I know who I am and who I want to be. I know my flaws and my imperfections and I work on them consciously, day by day, one by one. In the process I usually learn something else about myself or change in a way that I did not expect. I discover things that are so new and strange to me, but many others may have known all along, though I did not understand.
I love to change and grow, learn and be a better me.
For so long I was set on being some one esle, then I wanted to be a more accomplished me. I set out to learn a bunch of things, languages, arts, sports, anything to make me seem more well rounded and knowledgeable. It wan not until nore recently that I came to discover the important difference between being accomplished and having good character. "A woman of character, who can find..." Nothing matters to me more than my character. Learning to be Jane I guess you could say. The woman in my stories is the future me, the person I want to be. She is my ideal self, though still flawed in her own ways. From Jaime to Jane.
A couple of years ago I discovered a way to treat the ADHD with diet and a suppliment regiman. I took on the diet and both my husband and I have noticed a great change. Even my manager at work can tell if I have eaten something I should not have. Different foods bring out different symthems. With ADHD its like having an allergie to certain foods, except rather than a rash or watery eyes, my brain freaks out an causes certain behaviors.
I still have not started the suppliment regiman, we cannot afford it yet, but I would like to try it eventually. I hope that my discovories for myself now will help Mitch and I to handle any children we may have who could be ADD/ADHD.
I still have to master certain things and watch my diet, which by the way has also helped me to lose some weight, but on the whole I ame so much better than I was.
I still talk a lot when I am nervious or anxious and there are times when I have to make a consious effort to relax. I have learned to be me, though I spent most of my life pretending to be someone else or wanting to be a movie or book character. I did not need a self help book to make me who I am, I just needed to find out who I was to begin with. Now I know who I am and who I want to be. I know my flaws and my imperfections and I work on them consciously, day by day, one by one. In the process I usually learn something else about myself or change in a way that I did not expect. I discover things that are so new and strange to me, but many others may have known all along, though I did not understand.
I love to change and grow, learn and be a better me.
For so long I was set on being some one esle, then I wanted to be a more accomplished me. I set out to learn a bunch of things, languages, arts, sports, anything to make me seem more well rounded and knowledgeable. It wan not until nore recently that I came to discover the important difference between being accomplished and having good character. "A woman of character, who can find..." Nothing matters to me more than my character. Learning to be Jane I guess you could say. The woman in my stories is the future me, the person I want to be. She is my ideal self, though still flawed in her own ways. From Jaime to Jane.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Episode One: MacGregor Chronicles or I'm not Jane "yet"
Jane was known as the funny one. She was clever, bright, and willful. Never having been the kind to take "no" for an answer, she chased after her dreams like a child to a butterfly. Over the years she had learned to be patient and to accept what was before her because she knew that the best was yet to come. Nothing and no one could convince her otherwise. She wrote stories, dreamed, talked and sang to herself, and those around her regarded her with high esteem, though they thought she was crazy. Jane firmly believed that anything was possible. Movies and books were not stories, but realities that happened to real people like herself. Her existence was that of a fairy tale, living and breathing. To her life was an adventure, a slow miracle. Those she worked with and many acquaintances seemed to address Jane as a superior, as one who has a greater authority or wisdom than themselves. But her intimate friends, those who knew her the best, called her Jaynus. Her strength of will, drive to learn, and fervent need to have a flawless character carried her through many trials and life lessons. She was not perfect and did not understand peoples regard for her. She saw herself as a silly girl chasing butterflies and rainbows that no one else could see.
Jane knew herself well, acknowledged her faults, and polished her talents. She set high standards for herself and often became frustrated when others did not show the same work ethic. Daily she fought the idea of being typical or like everyone else. Never wanting to be "that wife" or "that person".She and her husband, Will, loved one another implicitly, and respected one another beyond the understanding of some. They discussed everything and confided everything to each other. They complimented and doted on one another constantly. Hugs, kisses, and "I love you"s were as common as eating and drinking at a dinner party. They enjoyed shopping and cooking together.
Jane's love of classical literature was not much overshadowed by her pure desire to learn everything. She valued truth and individual purpose more than anything, character was crucial. She was generous with her finances and willingness to help others. Every person Jane met was treated with respect and in a friendly manner. All she wanted to do was to serve God and her husband.
Mrs. MacGregor was the kind of person everyone wanted to be around or be like. Her smile lit rooms, her conversation brought life and self actuation, and her humor could cause even the most staunch person to at least crack a smile.
The only thing feared by this woman was the loss of her beloved husband or being out of Gods will for her life. Will and Jane were soul mates and couldn't imagine life without each other.
Her employers and many of her co-workers disliked letting her go, whenever she moved, and sometimes didn't like even letting her go on vacation. If she moved they joked that she was to commute from where ever she was going.
Jane loved everyone, and everyone loved Jane. She was crazy and quiet, outspoken and reserved, unpredictable and absolutely reliable. She knew herself and knew how to handle her various quirks and moods. She wrote herself reminder notes for everything and made lists to cope with stress, read books to escape reality, and threw herself into her husbands arms for everything. In all things she prayed.
One of her motto's in life was, "I'll try anything once, within moral and ethical reasoning." Another was, "Everything is a choice, and it's all in your attitude."
Jane knew herself well, acknowledged her faults, and polished her talents. She set high standards for herself and often became frustrated when others did not show the same work ethic. Daily she fought the idea of being typical or like everyone else. Never wanting to be "that wife" or "that person".She and her husband, Will, loved one another implicitly, and respected one another beyond the understanding of some. They discussed everything and confided everything to each other. They complimented and doted on one another constantly. Hugs, kisses, and "I love you"s were as common as eating and drinking at a dinner party. They enjoyed shopping and cooking together.
Jane's love of classical literature was not much overshadowed by her pure desire to learn everything. She valued truth and individual purpose more than anything, character was crucial. She was generous with her finances and willingness to help others. Every person Jane met was treated with respect and in a friendly manner. All she wanted to do was to serve God and her husband.
Mrs. MacGregor was the kind of person everyone wanted to be around or be like. Her smile lit rooms, her conversation brought life and self actuation, and her humor could cause even the most staunch person to at least crack a smile.
The only thing feared by this woman was the loss of her beloved husband or being out of Gods will for her life. Will and Jane were soul mates and couldn't imagine life without each other.
Her employers and many of her co-workers disliked letting her go, whenever she moved, and sometimes didn't like even letting her go on vacation. If she moved they joked that she was to commute from where ever she was going.
Jane loved everyone, and everyone loved Jane. She was crazy and quiet, outspoken and reserved, unpredictable and absolutely reliable. She knew herself and knew how to handle her various quirks and moods. She wrote herself reminder notes for everything and made lists to cope with stress, read books to escape reality, and threw herself into her husbands arms for everything. In all things she prayed.
One of her motto's in life was, "I'll try anything once, within moral and ethical reasoning." Another was, "Everything is a choice, and it's all in your attitude."
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Episode Zero: MacGregor Chronicles
Full Character list:
Willard John MacGregor
Jane Winnifred MacGregor
-Grace Abigail
-Luciana Sophia
-Clayton Willard
-Gaius John
John & Bella Marshall
-Kassandra & Henry Austin
-McKenzie
-Thomas & Yuki Grant
-Kimmy
John & Roxanne MacGregor
-Trevor & Tammy Carson
-Savannah
John & Marcie Templeton
-Ashley
Carissa & Wyatt Isaacs
-Jacob
Clara & Marcus Bayer
-Gavin
-Natasha
Liam & Jennifer Bradley
-Sabrina
Brett & Jennifer Griffin
-Michael
Amber & John Graves
-Alana
-Jack
Brady & Jackie Gibbons
-Aaron
-Melissa
Peter & Karena Arnez
Paul & Marisol Saprano
-Amelia
John & Janessa Grant
Derek & Molly Erikson
Domenic & Larissa Paulson
Tony & Kelsey Michaels
Elton & Rebekkah Vincent
Vincent & Angela Smith
Callie Walker
Rebekkah La Port
Marisol Gibbons
Grandma Janice
Episode Fifteen: MacGregor Chronicles
I would have to wait for January to know what sex the babies were, but none the less we were thrilled. Will began to strut, as if to say, “Hey, not only is she pregnant, but there's two of them and I did it.” I laughed and glowed. With the knowledge that multiples average on three weeks early, I was planning to have the nursery ready by the end of April. Cloth diapers were ordered off the Internet, as well as other items to which baby gender didn't matter.
I waited until my own birthday to have the gender discovering ultrasound done. I figured it was only fair that if Will could find out on his birthday that I am pregnant, then I would find out what sex they were on my birthday.
“Well. What do we have here?” the doctor sang.”You have a girl, and a...” he paused. I was plastered to the screen with my husband. “...girl. Two girls.” he announced at last.
“Good job hon.” Will said kissing my forehead.
“Well, really you decided that one.” the doctor reminded him.
“Good job hon.” I laughed, turning the long standing joke back at my beloved.”Hey, one for me, one for you.” I giggled.”Well I hope I get one.”
“They're ours dear, I'll share my girls with you.” he assured me.
“Well I hope so, I'm the one doing all the hauling here.” I laughed. “I just want to know that it won't be the only nine months I get with them.”
It was at this point that will decided that it would be safer that I not drive or sit in the front seat of a vehicle at all. This had been suggested at a class that we were taking and Will took it very seriously. He almost drove me nuts with his concerns until I gave him an expectant fathers book to read. He had it read in a week, his best time to date. After that he relaxed a bit. We continued to buy things for the nursery and Will started looking at baby clothes more than I. Outfits were bought, everything in two's just different colors. I could swear our children would be well dressed for the first three years of their lives before I stopped him. I had to remind him that other people would be buying us things for showers too.
I had three baby showers, one from my side of the family, one from his, and one from our friends. Three showers, three times we filled our vehicles with gifts. We did end up with duplicates, some of which we took back, others we held onto. We decided to leave some of the duplicate items at the grandparents homes for use there, whenever we would visit. My mom, Bella, and step-dad, John, would see the girls more often throughout the year, so more items were left at their house in Coon Rapids, than were left at Roxanne and John's, Will's parents, in Wisconsin. My friend, Callie, volunteered to take care of Will and me, the house, and the meals for the first few weeks after the girls were born. It would be wonderful having someone take care of us so we could take care of our children.
Everything was set and settled by tax day. Six more weeks and we would have the whole dream. By now though I was ready to be done being pregnant. I enjoyed it, but I was anxious to have them out and care for them on the outside world. I felt large and rolly-polly. On May 17, Will decided to take me out, to celebrate our family. Oddly one of the foods that I craved was from a Palestinian restaurant in Minneapolis. We went to the “Holy Land,” I eat, drank green tea, and was merry. We were on our way to a theater when my water broke, at eight thirty at night, far from home, and our hospital. Our hospital was an hour and a half away. Will didn't want to drive it, he figured we could go to a closer hospital. I called my OBGyn, he said to drive it. I wasn't in a great deal of pain with contractions or anything, so we had time.
Episode Nineteen: Mac Gregor Chronicles
It had been four years since Charlotte,(or Charlie if you like) had come to live with Willard and I, we adopted her not long after my stepmother died and things seemed to be running at a good rhythm for us. Everyday I took Charlie to her school in St. Cloud, she was socialized with other Deaf children and I had time to do house work and a few errands while she was gone. She was a brave little girl, though quiet and reserved, she stood up for what she knew was right. Her facial expressions were fantastic, which helped a lot when it came to her signing and communication. She was a bright child who picked up on things rather quickly. She could read people, especially Will and I within seconds. She knew who to stay away from and who was okay to approach, even if they were strangers. If something was wrong, either Will or I became upset, no matter how much we tried to play normal, she knew.
One warm spring day, just after school had gone into break, Charlie and I were sitting out on the front deck of our home, in New London, when a call from the front gate came in. There was a small group of men asking admittance, they were here to do the lawn work that Willard didn't have time to do because of his current project. I pushed the button to let them in and soon a mid-sized green truck rolled up to the house. Three men vacated the cab, I looked at each of them carefully, or tried to without staring. One was younger, tall and thin, like the classic “pool boy.” I thought to myself that he was in the wrong line of work, and smiled a bit. The second seemed to be in his fifties, with a small gut, and not very attractive at all. The last man looked to be in his late thirties early forties, head shaved bald, with a light blue handkerchief tied around his neck. Classic. The man was the first to come up to introduce himself as Pete from the lawn company I had called a week ago. He pointed to the youngest of the three and introduced him as Derrik, then to the bald man, Joshua. I shook Pete's hand, then Derrik's. Joshua was a bit stand offish at first and I couldn't get a good look at his face. Pete politely ordered Joshua to come up for “inspection by the lady,” as he put it. When Joshua finally climbed the six steps to the platform of the porch, I understood his hesitation, and I myself was in a bit of shock. I managed to play it cool as I said hello and introduced these new people to my daughter.
I signed to her as I said their names and gave them each name signs that she would remember. She giggled when I made curls in my hair with a “P” sign for Pete. She giggled again when I gave her the sign for “cute” with the letter “D”, for Derrik. But when I got to Joshua she didn't giggle, she was confused. For him I signed donkey with a “J.” Apparently Derrik understood all of it and laughed, especially at Joshua. I explained everything to them concerning the signs I gave them, but I lied when I told them what was meant for the bald man. In doing this I received what Willard and I referred to as the two o'clock look from Derrik, and a tap on the leg from Charlotte. She could read lips and she knew that I had lied. I told her that I would explain later, then continued to give the men a list of the duties that I needed them to do today, and my expectations for the rest of the spring through fall. I signed everything that I said, so Charlie could understand, it's rude to talk to hearing people in the company of a Deaf person without including them in what is said, even children.
When them men had gone about their business I asked my little girl to join me in the house. I had to explain myself. I told her that Joshua was someone I knew from a long time ago, and hurt my feelings, but had never had the chance to apologize. What I didn't tell her was that I had worked with him on a project, but on a different team, and he had flirted with me unabashedly, for months. I was flattered of course, but nothing ever came of it. He was fired from that job, and soon there after the project we had been working on was finished.
She told me that she didn't like the was he Joshua looked at me, that she didn't trust him. I assured her that everything would be fine and that we had to be nice to all of the people who worked for us. At that time she began to tell me that she liked the man who plowed our driveway in the winter, Taylor. She would invite him in for coffee or hot chocolate, if we were his last stop for the day, and we usually were.
At four o'clock, Charlotte decided it was a good time for the men to take an ice tea break. We made fresh home made ice tea and she went out to gather the troops. I had nothing to worry about, the entire five acres were fenced in and though she was Deaf, my child could scream and make noise louder than any hearing child ever could, if she was in trouble. She ran off down th steps, finding Joshua first. She took a note with her to communicate, before she left I wrote, “Ice tea break, front porch.” Joshua was the first of the crew whom she found. She showed him the note and he shook his head, “no.” With her big brown eyes she persuaded him. Still he denied her. She leaned against a tree and stared at him for a few moments, studied him. Then she pulled out one big crocodile tear. He caved and headed for the house. She waited until he was out of sight, then skipped off to find the next man.
Episode Fourteen: MacGregor Chronicles
Over the course of the next few weeks a great many things took place. We buried my father, adopted my sister, went to countless trips to the doctors in Rochester, and agreed when the time came to allow Janessa to stay with her daughter at our house during her last days.
Janessa died July 9, 2013, we buried her next to my father in the Grant family plot in St. Paul, Minnesota. She died on my fathers birthday. I cried more then than I had at my fathers funeral. I had finally become close to my stepmother, now she was gone. Charlotte was almost three months old when her mother died.
Endless ear infections plagued the poor child and in spite of the doctors efforts she eventually lost her hearing completely. Our gift from God was deaf for life at four months old. I had intended to teach all of my children sign language when I had them. I just never expected it to be anything more than a bit of education and fun, this was necessity.
Charlotte grew, healthy and beautiful. She had my fathers blue eyes and smile, and her mothers dark skin and black hair. She was a quiet baby, but caught on to the signing very quickly. At first I was not sure if I should teach my little girl to address me as sister or mommy. Legally she was my daughter, but she was also my fathers daughter from his second marriage. Will assured me that the right thing to do was for us to act as mommy and daddy, then when she was old enough to understand we would explain everything to her. This seemed like a wise choice, so I began to teach the child that I was Mama and Will was Daddy.
Will was delighted to have a little girl. He had always wanted daughters to love and protect, now he had a sparkle eyed little tot to see him as a knight in shining armor. We had completely forgotten about having our own children, for a while, and we enjoyed being just the three of us. Having a deaf child was a bit of a challenge at times, we learned a lot from her. You cannot yell at a deaf child, and when they don't want to listen, all they have to do is close their eyes.
About a month after Janessa died we threw a welcome to the family/adoption party. We invited all of our families and intimate friends to celebrate the life of the child by which God had blessed us. Every guest raved about how beautiful she was and how God had done an amazing work. A prophet friend of ours told us that God would do great things through her and that she was special. Many gifts were received for both parents and child, clothes mostly, and some toys. Our friends and family were surprised to find that even with the hearing trouble she had Charlotte loved the piano. I would put her in her bouncy seat atop the piano then play. The could feel the vibrations of the notes as I hit them and she would smile and laugh. Some songs would even lull her to sleep.
Toward the middle of August we attended the State Fair. This was our first chance to have a baby in the baby parade for Super Talk Saturday. Charlotte Jane may not be a spectacular name, but she was a beautiful child to show off and she had as good a chance of winning a prize as any. She was four months old that day, and we did end up winning the prize for best name. The hosts thought the story that she was my sister was interesting. A news paper got wind of it and we ended up interviewing for a story about the whole thing for the paper. Not front page, but intriguing any way.
It was not until then that we realized that she may have to go to a special school for a while to learn some things. I was planning to home school our children, but I hadn't a clue as to how to socialize and educate a Deaf child. She would have to be introduced into the Deaf community.
Episode Twelve: MacGregor Chronicles
“Oh, hon.” he kissed my forehead and hugged me tighter.
“That's what we've been doing all of this for isn't it? Working all this time, paying off our debt, building our house. We've done everything we set out to do. So why don't we have any children?”
“Well, do you want to go to the doctor to see if he can tell us what our options are?” Will suggested. I nodded. We hadn't done anything to prevent my getting pregnant for almost thirteen years now and I had not become so. For a long time I feared that we would not be able to have children of our own. We had even discussed the adoption option, but for the past six years we had put the whole scheme out of our heads until we could afford a child either way.
The following week we went to our regular doctor to be checked out and to get a plan down for conception. We decided that if we could not conceive on our own within six months, then we would go to fertility medications. On the fourth month on our own, I found myself with child. We were thrilled and scared. We knew the likelihood of miscarriages for women over thirty and took this very seriously.
Unfortunately, in spite of our carefulness, I lost the baby after ten weeks. I was very sad for a long time, but I did not allow depression to set in. During my sadness something very unexpected occurred.
I received an email, from my father. He was in the states again and wanted to see me. He and his wife, my step-mother, Janessa had moved back to the Philippines to be closer to her family five years earlier. Now they were back and my father seemed desperate to see me.
I could not help but agree to see him, the wording of his email was something I could not ignore. I replied with my consent to meet him at a small dinner in town the next week. I would never invited him to my home and refused to go to his own living area. A couple of days after the agreement to meet there was a buzz from our gate late at night. We weren't expecting anyone. It was pouring rain out and we had decided to stay in for the night to enjoy the storm. When I answered a weak voice with a still fairly strong Asian accent responded. It was my Janessa, someone from town had dropped her off and she was standing there in the rain. Willard immediately want to get her in his car.
How had she gotten here? Why was she alone? It had to be important. When the Willard returned with Janessa it was plain to see the urgency. In her arms was a tiny baby girl, she looked to be maybe a few weeks old. Both my stepmother and my new baby sister were soaked. The baby, Charlotte, was crying and chilled. We did everything we could to dry and warm them both. I took Charlotte while her mother took a warm shower. The soaked clothes of each went into the washer, then the dryer. I borrowed Janessa some warm pajamas and socks to wear, though they were a bit big on her because of the height difference. The tiny baby girl I stripped down and wrapped a soft cotton blanket around her. Thankfully my stepmother had diapers in a diaper bag that was with her. By the time Janessa was warm and dry, her daughter was as well. Charlotte was sleeping comfortably in a large woven basket lined with towels.
When the first entered the house my fathers wife tried to explain everything right away, but she would forget herself and begin to speak her native language and nothing was comprehensible to Willard or me. I asked that the two of them be dry, warm, and calm before anything further was said. Now that this was accomplished we all sat down in the fire side room with some tea and talked.
“Where is my father?” I asked starting out.
“He is dead. He died of tuberculosis three nights ago. He knew that it would take him this time, that is why we wanted to see you.”
I was in shock already. The man whom I had had so much trouble forgiving for his psychological abuse throughout childhood was gone and I didn't know what to think or how to feel.
“We wanted to ask you to take Charlotte. I am dying also. I had viral-cardio-miopathy. The doctors gave me six months, but I already almost died giving birth to my little girl.”
“Why us? Why did dad want me to have her?”
“He loves you. He knows that you will teach her about God and that you will love her. He always said that you would be a good mother. Her middle name is Jane, after you.”
“I'm not saying that I don't want her, but where is your family? Don't they want her?” I inquired still not grasping the whole situation.
“ My family is gone, all of them dead. Your father and I, we left Manila just days before my village was burned to the ground by a local militia. We could not fly because of the baby, we had to take a boat to get here.”
“You sailed here, from the Phillipines, dad had TB, you where pregnant and have heart a fatal heart condition.”
“Yes.”
“You do understand that no insurance in the world will cover your hospital bills because what you have is genetic and chronic right.”
“We came here to go to the Mayo clinic, to ask for their help. One of your fathers friends offered to pay the bills in full. I understand that I may not live long enough to have a transplant, but I do want to know that your sister is safe and well.” Janessa explained.
I looked at my baby sister, then at my husband, then at my stepmother. We had no choice, with my father gone and his wife dying, this child had no one to care for her. Even for as angry as I had been with my father, it was not the fault of this sleeping child before me. She was so small and looked a bit ill herself.
“We will take care of her.” Willard answered suddenly. He was not the kind to make snap decisions like this, but he saw the need and the urgency. A smile came across Janessa's pale face. She was only a few years older than myself and looked even younger. I had always wanted to be close to her, but I didn't want anything to do with my father. Now I would be rearing their child, as my own. I hugged her as tears began to stream down both our faces.
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