From Jaime to Jane

I was 14 when I was diagnosed as ADHD, at which time I was put on medication. While I was on my meds I was quiet, subdues, even meek. Off my medication, I was wild, more hyper than before I began taking Ritalin. I was all over the place and felt uncontrolable, though I still held myself to my own set of morals and values. At eighteen, a friend in college talked me into dropping the medication and work on things consciously. I did and I have. There are still behavoirs that have not been overcome but they are no worse than any other person.
A couple of years ago I discovered a way to treat the ADHD with diet and a suppliment regiman. I took on the diet and both my husband and I have noticed a great change. Even my manager at work can tell if I have eaten something I should not have. Different foods bring out different symthems. With ADHD its like having an allergie to certain foods, except rather than a rash or watery eyes, my brain freaks out an causes certain behaviors.
I still have not started the suppliment regiman, we cannot afford it yet, but I would like to try it eventually. I hope that my discovories for myself now will help Mitch and I to handle any children we may have who could be ADD/ADHD.
I still have to master certain things and watch my diet, which by the way has also helped me to lose some weight, but on the whole I ame so much better than I was.
I still talk a lot when I am nervious or anxious and there are times when I have to make a consious effort to relax. I have learned to be me, though I spent most of my life pretending to be someone else or wanting to be a movie or book character. I did not need a self help book to make me who I am, I just needed to find out who I was to begin with. Now I know who I am and who I want to be. I know my flaws and my imperfections and I work on them consciously, day by day, one by one. In the process I usually learn something else about myself or change in a way that I did not expect. I discover things that are so new and strange to me, but many others may have known all along, though I did not understand.
I love to change and grow, learn and be a better me.
For so long I was set on being some one esle, then I wanted to be a more accomplished me. I set out to learn a bunch of things, languages, arts, sports, anything to make me seem more well rounded and knowledgeable. It wan not until nore recently that I came to discover the important difference between being accomplished and having good character. "A woman of character, who can find..." Nothing matters to me more than my character. Learning to be Jane I guess you could say. The woman in my stories is the future me, the person I want to be. She is my ideal self, though still flawed in her own ways. From Jaime to Jane.